Bad Things Happen....How Can We Use Them?

Positive thinking is good, but when really bad stuff happens: the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a marriage broken, a friendship lost; how do we get through these difficult times and make things better?

One way is to ask yourself this question: "How can I use this?"

Sounds selfish at first, but the design of the question is to get you thinking about how you can improve the way you feel and change your focus. Remember how your focus determines your reality? Well, by changing your focus to how you can use a tradgedy to move forward with your life and affect yourself and others in a positive way, you can take the pain of the loss and use it to grow and help others who have gone through similar circumstances.

This happened to me when I went through a really nasty breakup years ago. The pain I felt took over a year to get through. But when I decided to take my life back, and start thinking about how I could use this, I realized that so many of my clients went through similar situations or worse! SoI was able to use the tradgedy to empathize with others who went through similar tradgedies and I was able to help them through it.

I look back on that situation now and all the pain I went through, and I honestly don't regret the experience at all. It may be that once you're through your difficult experience, and use it to empower yourself, you may end up feeling the same way: that it was hard, and difficult, but through that bad experience...

...I grew as a person. I encourage you to think about how you can grow from your bad experiences as well. From personal experience, I don't think you'll regret it. :)


Jim Valeri, LMHC
http://www.newhopecounselingonline.com/

Want to change how you feel? Change how you think!

A lot of people come to therapy looking to change how they feel. In fact, a large percentage of people who seek therapy are looking to manage feelings of depression or Anxiety. Are you one of these people? What do you think determines how you feel on a daily basis? A lot of people blame their family, their job or their situation. Some people just feel as though its how they're supposed to feel and don't believe they can make changes at all.

This is where I challenge people to look beyond their feelings and think about what they are really saying to themselves. Think about what you say to yourself every day. Is this not how you think about yourself and the world around you? Now think about how each of those thoughts makes you feel. See how thoughts and feelings are connected?

A good way to try this is think about something that makes you happy. Just from that statement you're excercising the ability to change your mood, merely by thinking about a happy moment in your life.

What if you thought about something that made you happy every time you felt depressed or anxious? Imagine how that could change the way you think, and ultimately, the way you feel!

www.NewHopeCounselingOnline.com

Your Focus Determines Your Reality!

Ever have a bad day? Ever wonder what made it so bad? I know from my own experience that I tend to judge my day based on whether or not something good has happened to me that day. Sounds kind of like playing the lottery doesn't it? If you're lucky enough to have good things happen to you, then your day will be "good," and vice versa. The problem with this kind of thinking is what we base "good" and "bad" days on.

What if we used a different way to judge days? Based on what we did or the time we took, or even just decided to look at the positive things that happened to us that day rather than the negatives? It would change the way we look at our day, wouldn't it?

That's where focus comes in. Your focus determines your reality. Whatever you think about the things that happen to you, whatever you decide to say about your day will eventually be how you look at your day, and ultimately your life.

I encourage you to think about your day and how you see it. Maybe you just need to flip it around, and look at it from a different point of view. Maybe your day, and even your life, may not be as bad as you think or feel it may be!

www.NewHopeCounselingOnline.com